Morning

A slightly incandescent letter rests on the sand-colored
granite counter by the window,
next to catalogues and bills.
The spider plant creeps away from the letter and
falls off the edge, trying to catch its prey off guard.

Only one mug is filled with coffee as it sits next to
the morning news. The other hangs on a rack,
its glaze glowing in the early sun.
The dust on the inside of the rim
is a thick reminder of months gone by.

Snapshots of friends, a kiss in the Village, and postcards from
overseas surround the picture of a proud cadet
on the wall. A calendar hangs heavy with weeks
of X’s marching towards the end.

And the phone is forgotten on the hardwood
floor. Sobs ripple across
and eddy around the legs of the barstools.
The currents sway the spider plant’s arm
as the letter dims and the mug grows cold.

Turquoise

I found myself on television
When I was 14. The volume was only at one bar,
it was three in the morning,
and I could see each red, green, and blue rectangle
that made up my life. There was laughter, smiles,
walking down the street holding hands and kissing
in public…
The library was where I found myself again.
On page 163 towards the bottom of the page. I was
over at my best friend’s house, spending the night.
We got into his dad’s liquor cabinet, had a few drinks.
As we lay next to each other feeling pretty good,
we both started to feel…
A crowd of people on the street
was where I found myself again. And there were
smiles and laughter. There was walking down the street
holding hands, kissing in public. There were books for sale
and pictures and stickers and things colored with every ray
of the sun. As I got lost in the rush, I knew I wouldn’t have to
find myself again.

Iron it out

I took out that shirt
the one we got for when we would win the lottery
And laid it out on the board.

The heat from the iron heats my skin
like when we stood close on the Metro
as I smooth out the large wrinkles.

The evanescent steam sifting through the air
your laughter drifting through my mind
as I laid the iron down on the shirt.

I smooth out a wrinkle,
laugh lines, smiles, memories,
the iron lets a hollow gasp.

Soon the shirt is pressed,
to ease insecurities, doubts…
ready to be worn one more time.

Thoughts on a break

There is just one thing I wish to pursue:
but you said that I’ve got to go.
I can’t just forget about you

when I was so sure that I knew
how much I wanted to be your beau.
There is just one thing I wish to pursue…

We have so many things to do!
I’ve made too many plans, so
I can’t just forget about you.

I can’t see it from your point of view
but I’ll try to honor your request, though
there is just one thing I wish to pursue.

Unmindful acts that I wish I could undo,
but I think we can work it out, so no
I can’t just forget about you.

Just know that my heart has always been true
and I will do all that I can to show
there is just one thing I wish to pursue,
I can’t just forget about you.

Norfolk, VA to Wilhelmshaven, Germany
or Sister Cities: Exchanging Nieces and Nephews

There’s so much motion in this one still shot,
and it betrays an excitement hard to catch
on film. Nothing’s quite in focus, each
pixel fading to the next until you’ve got
this one infinitesimal moment caught.

A black hat backwards and a bottle of beer snatch
at half-smiles and laughter blurred without a flash.
A glance at the picnic of parting we were not
ready to take after a month in a city too much like home.

The streets were cobbled and the language less quick
which just made it harder to forget. An age to roam,
to see new things, made simpler by such  familiar pick:
A house without family where you don’t feel so alone
and distance always makes the air less thick.

December

You asked me for a
break.

And I conceded
to what?

Wanting to call and stopping
short of dialing your number

Having to forget
why I’ve been with you since Spring

Thinking we’re acting like high school
friends reuniting with nothing in common

I want this to end
to feel you again
lying next to me
as you inhale slowly
with your eyes closed.

Merry-go-round

I didn’t want to be here
but you insisted that we come,
so I agreed on the condition
that something could be won.

“Here’s the ticket
Now get on the Ride
Go on and have fun
I’ll be back in no time.”

You walked off and disappeared
around a corner. I sighed,
looked over my shoulder
and saw quite a sight.

I walked through the empty line and
stood before the wood platform.
I climbed up and entered a strange,
brightly lit and colored world.

The gaudy Ride began,
as I searched for a place to wait.
Tinny music played a bit off-key
and the horses stiffly galloped. Besides

the bright paint, they were far from cheerful.
Their smiles looked sadistic,
their hooves glinted with veneer.
Their eyes stared with a caustic

glare. The lights glanced off
the slick hardwood, touching
every surface and creating no
shadows. Then a slouching

a figure caught my eye. Startled
I turned to see myself in
the Ride’s mirrored center. I
wandered around my rotating cell

watching ponies to chargers run about.
And they kept spinning unable
to be stopped. Thoughts trickled
in and I became less stable…

Would you come back? Had
you forgotten about me? Did you
quiet your doubts? The horses
rose in time as the song flew

faster and faster. The world looked unreal.
Scumbled colors smeared
across my eyes and the harsh song filled
my ear until it was all I heard.

I quickly began remembering
the first time we met,
and all of our dinners for two,
and how much you kept

smiling through it all,
the smell of your breath
lying in bed, your staunch support
and your comforting, firm chest.

I shut it out, the lights and sound,
the vertigo and pressure,
and slowly the music began to
stop as I felt more self-assured.

I looked around and noticed
the horses had started to slow
in their gait, giving up on
their flashy circular show.

I jumped off the ride as soon as
it felt safe to look for you
but I couldn’t find one
shred of evidence to pursue.

Just dusty paths and a cloudy
sky were all that was there
to comfort me. I began to walk
home in the quickly cooling air.

I’m moving on

These last long months
nurtured a nagging doubt
about that time you asked
if we were just physical…

And I considered my answer
carefully for a minute or two
and decided that there was more than
sex to what we had.
But as it turns out
every last little moment
each smile and hug
each fuck and cuddle
turned out to be a lie
for you.

And tonight I tasted
the real truth on your tongue
and felt it with my hand, so
I retract my previous answer.

He | art

It’s broken
too bad
to splint and leave
be
Sitting in my room with my knees
to my chest, I wait for the moment
when my friend will make
stars burst behind my eyelids
as I clench my teeth against the tears
But I need to get it to heal
and it needs to heal clean

So count to three
count to three
and then the wrench
and then it’s over
and all you do is count, one
and pull, count and pull and
get all the way, two
the last number’s,

fuck…

1:14

Another night
just Cab Franc and me
nothing to distract
only a white wall
and a bed
and a bare bulb
me from myself